Chief Couch Potato Officer (CCPO)

Job Description:

Do you consider your couch to be your kingdom? Can you lounge for hours without breaking a sweat? Do you think the remote control is the most powerful tool ever created? If so, we’ve got the ultimate job for you!

We’re looking for a Chief Couch Potato Officer (CCPO) to join our team of elite snackers, TV show experts, and professional loungers. This is a full-time position that involves mastering the art of relaxation, watching TV, and living the sedentary dream. You’ll be our go-to person when it comes to marathon TV watching, the perfect snack pairing, and maintaining optimal couch ergonomics.

Key Responsibilities:

• Lounge Like a Pro: Perfect the art of comfortable sitting, reclining, and lying down for long periods.
• TV Show Guru: Watch entire seasons of shows in one sitting, offering insights like “This is the best season of The Office” or “I’ve already rewatched Friends 15 times—don’t judge.”
• Snack Pairing Expert: Create the ultimate snack combos. Think popcorn with a side of chips, or pizza with a dash of chocolate.
• Nap Management: Strategically incorporate naps into your day, ensuring productivity in rest and relaxation.
• Maintain the Perfect Couch Setup: Ensure pillows, blankets, and cushions are arranged for maximum comfort (because a cozy couch is a serious business).

Skills Needed:

• Pro-Level Remote Control Handling: You’ve never accidentally paused at the wrong moment. Ever.
• Snack Mastery: You know that chips and salsa are great, but chips and guacamole are life.
• Endurance: Ability to watch multiple episodes of your favorite show in one sitting without feeling guilty.
• Sofa Science: A deep understanding of the importance of cushion fluffing and blanket draping.

Perks:

• Unlimited TV Access: Watch whatever you want, whenever you want. No one will judge you for rewatching The Bachelor three times in a row.
• Snack Delivery System: Get your favorite snacks delivered directly to your couch. Yes, this includes pizza, chips, ice cream, and maybe even breakfast in bed (if you’re lucky).
• Comfy Couch: A couch that will hug you back. Actually, it’s more of a relationship than just furniture.
• No Judgment Zone: Skip intros, eat cookies for dinner, and never leave your house. This is your kingdom.

Join Now!